The Slow Venom

"Why can't you be like the other kids?"
"I wonder the kind of kids you are"
"Can't you see kid A and how she behaves?"
"Why are you not as intelligent as B?"

                              ****
Dear parents,
One of the best relationship you can have with your kids is one where they do not fear you to the extent of not feeling safe around you or discussing their feelings, fear and insecurity with you.

While it is okay to push your kids to doing more, it's not really safe to push them to the extent where they feel not good enough or less than themselves using comparative words.

Comparison is a virus that kills the mind slowly. It breaks down the walls of a person's  mind, let's down his guard and makes one withdraw into his shells.

Studies show that one cannot (really or actively) perform at his best when the feelings of comparison sinks into him.
Words like: "oh, I'm not good enough, so why not relax while ... does the job since he's better?" Etc keeps drawing him back.

While you're trying to get him up on his feet and act, he is withdrawing. Comparison never really gets a person working. The possibility of  it pushing a person to work is clearly below average.

                       ||What you can do||
One lesson I learnt from Dale Carnegie's "How to win friends and influence people" is that beginning in a friendly or appreciative manner works magic when trying to achieve something through a conversation or get the other person working. This is from both principle 1 of part 4 and 4 of part 3.

Principle 8 of same 4 went further to show how using encouragement and making the fault seem easy to correct while trying to make the other person save face in 5 can help you achieve results dealing with people.

All these principles surely work great and can also be applied when dealing with your wards. No one loves to feel like he's not making an effort. Everyone wants to be cheered, high-fived and told soothing words.
The self esteem of a child can be really affected with comparison.

What are you doing??

||Looking forward to using my experiences and knowledge to help families and young mind rise from the point they are to where they ought to be||
I am #Bestie Light, a voice that has come to stay and must be heard.